Chris Bartlett | Ablaze Ministries
David Carvalho | Diocese of Fall River
This article summarizes insights from Chris Bartlett of Ablaze Ministries and David Carvalho of the Diocese of Fall River, in conversation with parish leaders, focused on partnering with parents in ministry, especially ministry to young people. To watch the presentation in its entirety, visit: https://www.youtube.com/@equipcatholics
Chris Bartlett is the President of Ablaze Ministries and Team Captain of Ablaze Families. A native of Round Rock, Texas, Chris has dedicated his life to forming young disciples and empowering ministry leaders, both in parish youth ministry and as Diocesan Director for the Diocese of Austin. He holds a Master’s in Theology from St. Mary’s University in San Antonio and dual Bachelor’s degrees in Theology (with a concentration in Religious Education) and Business Marketing from Franciscan University of Steubenville. To learn more about Ablaze, visit: https://ablaze.us/
In today’s world, forming young people in the Catholic faith is no small task. Cultural shifts, generational divides, and rising anxiety levels among teens create a complex landscape for youth ministers to navigate. But perhaps one of the most underutilized — yet powerful — strategies in youth ministry is building authentic partnerships with parents. As ministry leader Chris Bartlett passionately articulates, partnering with parents isn’t just helpful — it’s essential.
Why Partner with Parents?
Before diving into strategies, it’s crucial to understand the “why.” Why invest in partnering with parents?
- Parents are the primary educators of the faith. This truth, affirmed by the Church, means that any lasting impact in youth ministry must involve the domestic church.
- Teenagers are more open with their parents than ever before. Contrary to stereotypes, Generation Z reports more open communication with their parents than previous generations.
- The home has more access and influence. Teens may attend youth group once or twice a week, but they live with their families every day. That’s where transformation can take root.
Ultimately, partnering with parents increases the spiritual fruit in young people’s lives. When parents and ministers work in harmony, teens benefit from a consistent message and experience of love, faith, and accountability.
Understanding the Generational Gap
Most of today’s teen parents are from Generation X — a generation marked by independence, resilience, and a “latchkey kid” upbringing. In response to their own unsupervised adolescence, Gen Xers often over-schedule their children, hoping to protect them from the pitfalls they experienced.
But Generation Z is different. These teens are the most anxious generation on record, with stress levels rivaling 1950s CEOs. They’re digitally connected but emotionally isolated. Their lives are packed with activities, but their souls often lack rest and rootedness.
This generational mismatch leads to misunderstanding. Parents may prioritize sports scholarships, while ministers yearn for sacramental encounters. But at the core, both want what’s best for the young person. The challenge is bridging that gap.
Five Keys to Partnering with Parents
So how can ministry leaders effectively partner with parents? Chris Bartlett offers five essential strategies:
1. Change Your Perception of Parents
Sometimes it’s easy to get frustrated with parents — especially when they prioritize sports over Mass or seem disengaged from parish life. But underneath those behaviors is a parent doing their best, often with different measures of success.
Some parents celebrate academic achievement. Others just want their child to avoid jail. Ministry leaders must suspend judgment and meet parents where they are. Learn their story. Acknowledge their efforts. Champion their love.
As Chris says, “Be the biggest fan of every parent — even the difficult ones.”
2. Communicate Consistently and Add Value
Don’t give up on parents just because they don’t reply to your emails. Keep communicating — consistently, persistently, and meaningfully.
- Be consistent: Send regular updates and reminders.
- Be persistent: Don’t take silence as rejection.
- Provide value: Share parenting tips, spiritual reflections, or teen culture insights. This builds trust and shows that you’re invested in their whole family, not just their child’s attendance.
Bonus tip: Use a texting platform like Flocknote or Remind to send discussion questions 30 minutes before youth nights end. This not only improves pickup logistics but sparks faith conversations on the drive home.
3. Acknowledge the Changing Family Structure
Only 16% of Generation Z comes from the traditional “nuclear family” structure. The rest live in blended families, single-parent homes, or with grandparents or guardians.
Inclusive language matters. Instead of saying “one parent must attend,” try “a parent or guardian.” Recognize that spiritual influence can come from godparents, older siblings, or extended family.
Make sure your ministry events and communications reflect this diversity. The goal is to affirm every family and invite them into a deeper encounter with Christ.
4. Communicate Transformation, Not Just Information
Parent emails shouldn’t be limited to logistics. Use them to share the “why” behind your ministry. Tell stories of transformation. Highlight the impact that retreats, service projects, or small groups are having on teens.
Offer spiritual opportunities for parents themselves — like Eucharistic Adoration during youth nights or adult faith formation sessions. When parents grow in their own faith, their children notice. You’re not just forming youth; you’re shaping entire families.
5. Reinforce the Family, Don’t Replace It
Youth ministry should never become a substitute for family life. Instead, it should reinforce the family’s role as the domestic church.
- Avoid scheduling conflicts with family time, school events, or holidays.
- Encourage shared experiences, like parent-teen nights or family adoration.
- Help teens become better sons and daughters, not just better disciples.
This also means respecting family milestones. If a dad has been waiting to watch Star Wars with his son, don’t host a youth group movie night that accidentally takes that moment away. Communicate early and honor sacred family moments.
Practical Tips for Building Partnerships
Here are a few concrete ways to begin partnering with parents more intentionally:
- Welcome new families with a personal call or email from small group leaders.
- Equip volunteers with a call script to introduce themselves to parents and share their commitment to the teen’s faith journey.
- Host meaningful parent nights with refreshments, quiet time, and content that’s actually helpful — not just procedural.
- Include parents in your prayer life. Ask them for intentions. Let them know you’re praying for them.
- Celebrate wins together. Whether it’s a teen’s confirmation, a spiritual breakthrough, or simply making it to Mass as a family, rejoice with parents in the journey.
Measuring Success
When parents partner with ministry, the fruits are abundant:
- Teens stay engaged in the faith longer.
- Families grow in holiness together.
- Parents find spiritual renewal.
- Ministry becomes less about programs and more about people.
One of the most touching stories Chris shared was when a mom called him during a family crisis. Her son had barricaded himself in his room after a confrontation — and she didn’t know what to do. Chris was able to deescalate the situation because he had built trust with both the teen and the parents. They all knew they were on the same team.
That’s the power of partnership.
Final Thoughts
Parents don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be present, consistent, and compassionate. They need us to believe in them, encourage them, and point them toward Christ — just like we do for their teens.
As ministry leaders, we must remember that our role is temporary, but a parent’s influence is lifelong. By championing and equipping parents, we ensure that the seeds of faith we plant in youth group will continue to grow in the rich soil of the family.
Partnering with parents isn’t just a strategy — it’s a calling. And when we embrace it fully, the entire Church is strengthened.